Happy Birthday Gheegars,
I was wearing a red t-shirt and gray shorts the morning I found out you were growing inside me.
For some reason, I always remember what I'm wearing on significant days in my memory, and I know I'll never forget this. I put the pregnancy test on the counter to wait and pulled my hair back and left the bathroom, knowing it would be negative, because I was always not pregnant (and always thinking I was). I was sitting cross-legged in the computer chair, son, when your daddy came in and waved the test at me. He had that goofy grin and rolled his eyes when he asked, "what is this"? I should say, I was a little addicted to pregnancy tests - I just had to KNOW. Positive or negative...I wanted to know.
"How many lines?"
"Two"
(tears) "Do you know what that means? We're pregnant!"
We hugged and wept because we didn't expect you yet.
I put my hands on my belly because I wanted to feel you...because you were there....in all your poppy-seed sized girth. I didn't want to walk or breathe or move or laugh because I thought I would break you! I felt instantly connected to you - dot sized or not, you were my son. Adrian, I could literally feel my heart grow with love for you!
You grew to be the size of a watermelon really fast. I wore a red shirt and black pants when I went into the hospital to have you. The labor was hard, Adrian, but it was worth it and I was glad to have you as the fire-work-like finale to my 42 week pregnancy. You, Adrian, were more than worth it and the best moment of my life was when the midwife laid you on my belly and I got to see your sweet face and feel your tiny fingers in my hands- the identical image of your daddy. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!
Dear Adrian,
I have been thinking of how I wanted to write this letter to you for a few months now. There is no way to put into words how much I love you.
I love everything about you. I love how you are so aware of your surroundings and such a sweet, happy baby.
I love how you love music and dance and sing.
I love to watch you laugh when I tickle you.
I love how you giggle when I kiss your neck.
I love to give you finger kisses and toes kisses and belly kisses.
I love putting you to bed so sweetly and welcoming your gleeful self into my arms in the morning and when you wake up from your nappy-nap.
I love bragging about you.
I love giving you baffys and playing with the water with you.
I love how I have a new take on life as I watch you discover new things.
I love your own little personality that is so strong and prevalent in you already.
I love your stubbornness, and I love your strength.
I love how independent you are, but at the same time I love how much you need me.
I love to watch you love your daddy - there is nothing I'd rather hear than to hear him tell you over and over that he is crazy about you. Those words are healing to my heart, you know.
I love how you bellow, "CAT" every time Molls happens to enter your line of sight.
I love how you make me kiss your fingers.
I am sad that you are growing too fast, but happy that you're here making our life so wonderful. You've introduced us to a NEW kind of wonderful and we love you for that!
Adrian, at one year old, you are passionate and engaging, loving, silly, emotional, sticky sweet, strong, loud, musical, gleeful, playful, squishy, round, full of kisses, purposeful, and driven. You know what you want and you know how to communicate what you want. You're a fast little crawler and love to dance and sing. You play very well with your little friends. You are sooo cuddly. You are soft. You are ours!
Sweet Adrian, you are the gift that I have always wanted, something I never could have known would make my heart grow to hold such love. I have so many hopes and dreams for you and I want to watch you succeed in everything you do. Your daddy and I have so much love for you - so much hope and dedication.
Mostly, sweet Adrian, I want to watch you grow to love Jesus and serve Him with all the passion, strength, joy, and stubbornness that HE put inside you.
He made you to love Him, precious son, and I want you to know that.
I love you,
Mama
Dear Adrian,
Happy first birthday baby boy! Adrian, I can’t believe I’ve already had you in my life for a year. It has been so amazing to see every thing you have learned and how much you have already changed. Your momma and I love you so much that if we have even half a day away from you it hurts and makes us miss you desperately. You have brightened our lives so much and have been better than we could ever imagine. I love you so much Adrian, and I am already so excited about the boy and man you are growing up to be. You have brightened my life more than I ever could have imagined before.
Son, as you are growing up we want the very best for you. I want you to try out music or sports or other hobbies, but I’ll understand if you don’t love any of them. I want you to grow up and make friends, but whether you have a lot or a few is okay either way. I want you to work hard, but it doesn’t matter if you make a lot of money or not.
There is one thing, above all else, that I want for you Adrian.
God put you on this earth, and God brought you into our lives as a sweet and wonder gift. God has been teaching us so much about His plan for our lives over the past years, especially with you here, and we are still learning. Adrian, I want you to know that the most important thing in your life is that you know God and love Him with all your heart. You need to look for Him, learn about Him, and give your everything to Him no matter where you are. God made your life and He has a great plan for you.
Adrian, trust Jesus to guide you no matter what’s happening in life. I’m not a perfect dad, and I’ll make more mistakes I’m sure. But Adrian, Jesus will never let you down. Only be like me when I am being like Jesus. Loving and trusting in Jesus is the very best for you. I love you son. I’m so proud of what you're becoming, and I can’t wait to see what the next year holds.
Thank you for being my boy.
Love,
Your Daddy
