Happy 3rd Anniversary! / 16 weeks pregnant!

Nick and I have been married for 3 beautiful years. Beautiful, very crazy, years.

I'm starting to write this at 9 am this morning and 3 years ago at this moment I was in my pajamas at the church, sipping coffee, praying constantly, trying to quiet my nerves and keep myself from exploding out of my head. Today was my wedding day!

Fast forward through the million events that have taken place that have made me fall deeper in love with the man I married, today I feel grateful and complete and excited about the next seventy years or so!

This past year, we've:

• Found a new church in Jacksonville that we're extremely proud to be a part of. We've made wonderful friends there and are enjoying getting "plugged in". I can hardly believe we've been there nearly a year already.
• Celebrated Adrian's first birthday! What a milestone, what an enormous event. 
• Moved again to a smaller little trailer. We're happy here, thankful to be here, and are enjoying making it "home" for however long this little season here is going to last.
• Several of our dear friends have moved to other parts of the country this year. We are missing them! It's hard to find precious friends as truly special as we've had here in Jacksonville.
• Found out we're expecting Owen. We're over the moon about him and can't wait to meet him sooner than we think!

This morning, as Nick and I exchanged gifts (he gave me beautiful leather sandals and I gave him a new watch with a leather band - 3rd anniversary theme is leather), we held hands and laughed about how our 3rd year has been so much better than our 2nd year. I can't wait to keep saying that every single year. It's wonderful to be married to someone who makes it feel like the rest of our lives together is just not long enough!

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16 Weeks Pregnant with Owen!

 Not much to report this week. I'm feeling better in general except for headaches. I'm wishing this little man would move some more - I was feeling Adrian A LOT more at this point than I'm feeling Owen, but the very very faint flutters here and there are reassuring!

Old Pictures of Our Love

It's always fun when you find an old folder full of old pictures. Especially these - I haven't seen them in a while :)

I love being reminded of our silly courtship and this super handsome man I get to be married to!

Sorry for the mush-fest...but I think these pictures are so cute.

(And they sure do give me an incentive to lose weight!)

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[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

Little Spoon

Our days are full of busy. He on the phone all day, dealing with crisis, dealing with cars. Talking to strangers and juggling things that have to get done right now. Me folding laundry, washing dishes, kissing tears away and rocking a teething baby.

Our nights are just us. Even when we've had a long day, I look forward to finally laying my head on his strong shoulder, all our eyes heavy. Whatever kind of day we've had, I love how it ends with me being the little spoon in his arms. "Good night baby, I love you".

When I used to think of my future family, I always imagined a tidy house full of pets and happy children. We'd have a nice car, a picket fence, and apple pies in the window. What I didn't imagine was someone who was so perfectly fit to the puzzle piece that is me. I like God's imagination.

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder. 

~Charles Morgan

1461 Days

1461 days seems a lot less to me than 4 years. Either way, that's how long I've know my hunky hubby.

4 years ago was my first day working at the Cracker Barrel in Lynchburg (after 2 weeks of trying to get my transfer from the Atlanta location official).  It had been a rough summer for my love life, and obviously that very week I had sworn off relationships for probably the rest of my life. Silly, I know, but I believe that any other barely-19-year old girl would feel the same way.

Just as I walked back into the kitchen, my manager introduced me to Nick (she still takes credit for our relationship...fine with us). I wouldn't say it was "love" at first site (Nick didn't think twice about me) but I was most definitely intrigued. Never in my life had I felt more respected by a man. And good grief, what a man he was!

After work, I rushed onto facebook to look him up. My roommate and I ooohhed an ahhhhed at the manly dorkiness that is Nick. Here's some pics from that album:

Fast-forward 1461 days and we have a precious baby son (who has had a baaaaaaaaaad day - poor sweet teething baby).  I love marriage to Nick and am blessed to have both he and Adrian. Thank you, Lord.

One year ago today...

My life changed a year ago today.

A year ago today I found out that Nick and I were going to have a family.  Yes, I was pregnant.  Overwhelmed with joy and fear, I put down my cup of coffee and walked around as if my body was made of eggshells.  As Nick and I held each other and cried (probably with both fear and joy), we knew we had been blessed with the greatest gift, introduced by those two pink lines...but of course we had no idea :)

I have often thought that we should change the way we measure age.  Of course, that would completely rock the current acceptance of "life begins after 24 weeks gestation" belief.  But if the world believed that life begins at conception, my little Adrian Samuel would be over a year old.  Crazy thoughts.

The past 16 weeks have been the craziest, most exhausting, happiest, most love-soaked weeks of my life.  At 16 weeks, Adrian has found his fingers, found his toes, loves cuddling and hugging, smiles all the time, fills 6-9 month clothes, laughs when you play peek-a-boo with him, and adores his baths,  He can roll over, and loves to sit up (with assistance).  Of course, I am super proud of every tiny milestone...but that's my job :)

This fall we are looking forward to two baby nephews.  My sister in law is expecting sweet baby Jack in November, and my sister will soon welcome baby Levi the beginning of September.  I'm looking forward to all of the memories Adrian will make with his cousins so close to his age.  What fun!  We are a blessed family.

Thanks for reading!

"It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."Lamentations 3:26

Happy Independence Day *Pray for our Soldiers*!

By the end of the summer, many of our Marine friends will be serving our country overseas.  Deployments are so difficult for everyone involved...kids missing their daddies and wives missing the love of their life.  Let's keep them in our prayers! Chris Teague, Lincoln Hughes and Cory Collier are already deployed, Michael Whiteford and Tim Miller are deploying early tomorrow morning, and Randy Brewer and Josh Munsee will be deploying in the coming weeks. 

If you have a name you would like to add on the list, email me!

Chris Teague serving in Afghanistan
Cory Collier serving in Afghanistan
Michael Whiteford serving in Afghanistan
Tim Miller serving in Afghanistan
Randy Brewer
Josh Munsee serving in Afghanistan
Lincoln Hughes
John Fabbri
Victor Mask
Calvin Carlson

"If My people who are called by My name humble themselves, pray and seek my face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

We tried to come up with a fun and different way to celebrate the 4th (one of my very favorite holidays), but reality hit us when we remembered that we have a 3 1/2 month old who requires a whole lot of "stuff".  We'll go see fireworks at the beach in a couple of years.

We went to the nearby park for fireworks.  Guess who was there?  Remember the couple from our anniversary date who shared our table and witnessed my mortifying vomit episode?  Welp, we seem to be stalking each other.  So much for the comfort of, "at least we'll never see those people again".  *sigh*.

Adrian seemed both fascinated and scared by the fireworks show, but fell asleep before they were over.  I'm sure he'll appreciate them more next year.

Happy Independence day!

Our 2nd Anniversary

Proverbs 30:18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

Two years ago today, I was anxiously getting ready to marry my very best friend.  My family was excited, I was excited, my friends were excited.  The moment I had dreamed of and planned for my entire life was so so close.  Nick and I had decided not to speak to each other until the ceremony, and I could not wait to see him, and for him to see me.  The anticipation was incredible. 

When the doors opened to the sanctuary and I could come down the isle, I had to keep reminding myself not to trip.  Half way down, Nick almost ran to meet me to walk with me towards the pastor.  That day ways the happiest of my life! I'm so thankful to the many, many people who helped us pull off such a wedding on a budget.  There is not one single thing I would change about that day!

Nick and I exchanged anniversary cards this morning, and mine said "turns out the millionth kiss is so much better than the first".  True story.  And the first was good!  We had decided to wait to kiss until our wedding day and by the grace of God we made it.  It was so special.  I am truly a romantic when it comes to weddings, but it was also amazing to finally be able to join in covenant to the one my soul loved.  Nick had walked right out of my prayers into my life. 

I found the one whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go…
Song of Solomon 3:4

Growing up, I had a very cynical, hyper-realistic view of marriage...although I hoped to have one that lasted, I expected us to be satisfied at best with each other, deal with the difficulties that life through at us, and die old, with barely having had a conversation more serious than the weather in twenty years.  Sad, but yes, this is what I thought I deserved.  I was afraid to believe that I could be happy in marriage when the majority of marriages around me were sad and hanging on by a thread.  I was terrified to hope that *I* could have a loving, fun, solid marriage.  But I do!

God is a romantic.  God is the one who created the poetry we long for in relationships.  He is the author of those mushy feelings we often push aside, dubbing them un-authentic.  However, it was our King that instilled the desire to love and receive love.  How precious is it that we cannot love the one He gives us to share our life with if we do not first fall in love with Him?  We cannot.  It is impossible.  Marriage is NOT meant to be between only one man and one woman without the Lord as the glue between him.  It is this thought that brings me to tears when I think of Nick and I...when I see how much Nick really adores me and when I think about how in love I am with him.  What a gift.

Most of you reading this have been married much longer than we have.  I know that we will have "good years and bad years" ahead of us.  Even the two years we have had have not come easily in any sense, because life is hard and we are human.  Honestly though, I can say I look forward to us being old, stinky and wrinkly, rocking on the porch side by side, holding hands and making jokes about being old and stinky.

To celebrate our two years of marriage, yesterday we went to the Aquarium on Emerald Island. We bought a year membership on our anniversary last year, and so we wanted to go at least once more before it expired.  We were really glad we went! It was a lot of fun and nice to get out of the house for some free fun (the membership has already paid for itself time and time again).  I have been anxious to bring Adrian to the aquarium because I love it so much, and thankfully he did seem to appreciate it.  I'm sure he'll like it more when he's older, but at least he liked the shiny fish scales :)

To celebrate today, Nick and I went to a hibachi steakhouse as our gift to each other.  I've wanted to go to a Japanese restaurant where the chefs cook in front of you for quite a while, and it was much cheaper than our usual celebratory restaurant: The Melting Pot.  It was so much fun!  We shared the table with another couple.  Nick ordered shrimp and I ordered Filet Mignon. Yummy! 

However, the very most embarrassing thing happened to me....I randomly (and without warning) threw up everything I had eaten in the middle of our dinner.  In front of the other couple. In front of the chef. In front of the entire restaurant.  I was (and still am) mortified. Thankfully I was able to duck under the bar to cover myself.  Seriously though, it was definitely the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.
All in all...it was a good day :) Thanks for reading!

"Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for"
- Love is Not a Fight (song from our wedding)

Wedding photos by Derek McClelland.  Highly recommend him. http://www.derekshanefotos.com/

Happy Birthday Me.

It's a little awkward to write about one's own birthday...especially if you're me.  Because if you're me, you have the signature best friend that is the same age as me, as well as the signature best college friends that are the same age as me, but every other precious friend in your life would be at least 5-18 years older than you.  Which (if you were me), would make you feel awkward to announce that you are *whispers*....tweeeennnty- threeee.

If you were me, most people would laugh at you for being such a baby age.

*sigh*

Which makes me want to defend all the things I've stuffed into my short, short life and prove that I am in fact wise and ancient, but alas, that would be selfish.  So, there you go, blogger world: I'm 23.

It's been a very good birthday.  This will always be one of my most special-est birthdays because it's the first one that I am celebrating as a mama.  Of course, last year I was pregnant on my birthday, I just didn't know it.

My sweet manly husband let me sleep all night without waking me to take care of the baby, which was so kind of him.  Adrian gave both of us the gift of sleeping from 9:30-5:30 (claps).  Nick gave me a gift card to Marshall's (!), some makeup, my favorite chocolate (Lindt Truffles), chap stick, and roses all wrapped up in a gift bag with orchids on it.  Somehow I'm surprised at the extent to which my husband knows me :)

I spent the day with Andrea and Adrian relaxing and trying to stay cool (these North Carolina summers are nasty).  Then, we went to surprise our friend Michele for her birthday (we share the same birthday).  She felt surprised and loved and it was a great way to spend the day.

Thank you all my sweet friends for your lovely comments on my facebook and email - they have truly made my day! Happy June 28th!

“Fear not: for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…” – Isaiah 43:1-3

Loving my Samuel

I love the names we gave our son. 

I love the Italian origin of "Adrian, and the meaning that ties him to our love of the ocean...something that in itself is a testimony to the bigness of God with the crashing of the world of the sea against the world of the earth.  Honestly, if it wasn't so weird, I would have named Adrian "Ocean", but alas...that's a very weird name.

I really love the name "Samuel" because of what it means to us.  If you want to read our journey behind his middle name, you can read it here. I found the verse that says, 1 Samuel 1:27–28 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD" and loved it.  We decided to give Adrian this as his middle name because his existence had proven the Lord's love for us time and time again. My fervent prayer when waiting for Adrian's arrival was that the Lord would help us lead our son to love Him and develop a relationship with Him.

This prayer was genuine, but I remember a moment during his first week of life that made me take what I was praying more seriously.  Adrian had been screaming for hours and nothing I was doing could calm him down (I later realized he was starving - I had been trying to put him on a schedule, something that ended up NOT being "easy, effective, and enjoyable" for our little family).  I was exhausted and very much in pain.  He was nursing about every three hours, but when he nursed, he tore the flesh from me so every feeding session was excruciatingly painful and I quickly began to dread it.  I remember cradling him against me and praying over and over again, "thank you Lord that I have this precious child to feed".  I meant it so much, knowing that even though this minute in my life was painful, I had been given the greatest gift on earth in that child.  I soon learned ways to better feed him that was better for both of us, and now feeding him is a very sweet, cuddly time for us :) 

The Lord has gently reminded me in the nearly three months that Adrian has been here that as much as I love my baby, Jesus loves him SO much more than me.  Morbidly, I'll admit, I've thought many times what I would do if God allowed a tragedy such as childhood cancer or sickness or something else that would force me to surrender him MUCH earlier than I would hope.  I know that my baby is no exception to the Lord's plan.  Although I pray the Lord would entrust Adrian's life to me for years and years and years, I know it is a good reminder to keep the "so now I give him to the Lord" part of the verse in the forefront of my mind.  Adrian is a gift.  I do not deserve to be a mother, or be entrusted with the precious gift of joy that has blessed our home.  He is his Heavenly Father's child first and foremost, and I do pray that one day he will except God's gift of life and be reborn.

This is why I love my Samuel.  The name that makes me keep my priorities in check.

I have started reading Mary Beth Chapman's book, "Choosing to SEE" about losing her 5 year old baby girl.  I am only at the second chapter right now, but I have already cried.  My friend who loaned the book to me warned me that it would convict me about my attitude about surrendering my baby to the Lord as it did her. 

I am just a mom.  Lots of people are moms.  While of course it is a special job, it is certainly an ordinary one.  In short...I am a mom, I am not God. 

While I wish and desperately hope and pray for a long healthy life for my son and future children, I need to walk through life with open hands, knowing that the Lord's will for their lives may not always be my own.  I am not at that place yet. I pray I will be at that place.  God is GOOD and so is His plan...ALL THE TIME!