Owen Judah's Birth Story

My "theme" for preparing for Owen's arrival during my pregnancy was the desire to bring more "peace" into our home. Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was honestly starting to wonder if nearly everything was going to end up being opposite of that.

Instead, God proved Himself Sovereign again and every tiny detail of our prayers were answered (no, not in the way we asked), but in amazing ways.

I was due with Owen on the 18th, and for so many reasons was VERY ready for him to be here by the time that date rolled around. I had already been to Labor and Delivery twice at this point and was feeling relieved and grateful to be experiencing so many signs of labor that I hadn't had with Adrian. On the morning of the 19th, I started having pretty severe contractions where I was counting and slowly breathing through them for hours. Finally, after about 5 hours, once they were 2-3 minutes apart, I woke Nick and told him he should probably get a shower because I was sure this was "it". I called my mom, she agreed, and we all hit the road within the next hour.

By the time I got to Labor and Delivery, contractions were 3 minutes, then 4, then 8 minutes apart. I was released to go home. We were VERY sad. I called mom, who was already on the road and told her the news. She said that she and my sister had decided to come anyways because they were sure it was soon! I was so relieved and grateful.

All weekend, nothing happened. Consistent Braxton Hicks contractions and increased discomfort, but no more "this is it" feeling. The doctor decided to give me an induction date of Christmas Eve. We all prayed and prayed that our sweet son would come a little earlier so that he could have his very own special day, but God's timing is perfect even in this! Wonder of wonders, my mom worked it out to be able to stay for Owen's birth, and Kayla's sweet husband drove all the way to pick her up so she could be home with her family for Christmas.

I slowly released my desire to NOT be in the hospital on Christmas day, and have been getting very excited about the sweet new traditions our family will be able to have around this time of year. By Monday morning, Nick and I were completely peaceful. We called in to make sure I could come in for the induction and were given an hour to be there, so we went out to breakfast at Waffle House - what a fun little memory!

To back track a little bit, I was SO SO thankful for Adrian's natural birth. It was fast, pretty easy, and I felt a true sense of accomplishment to be able to labor and deliver "naturally" without an epidural even though I was induced with him. I knew this time that I would probably have back labor because of Owen's position, but I assumed if I could do it once, I could do it twice naturally. Nick and I went through every effort to attempt to have a water birth at home, but once we found out our insurance wouldn't cover it, we trusted the Lord with another hospital birth that was as natural as possible.

We were admitted at 6:00am and I was immediately given pitocin. I was 3cm and 60% effaced when I got to the hospital so we all braced ourselves for a very fast labor and delivery (Adrian's was 4 hours from water breaking to pushing). By 3pm, I was only maybe 4cm and still very thick.  By this time, the contractions were truly unbelievable. Our labor and delivery nurse was *very* concerned about having Owen constantly on the monitors and wouldn't let me out of bed or move at all through the contractions because I was "on pitocin" and she needed to hear the heartbeat constantly. This was a major blow to my plans for pain management, as I had been given permission to rock, walk, sway and move around the bed the entire time through Adrian's pitocin-induced contractions and fully expected to have the same freedom this time. I found a little comfort in shaking Nick's fingers back and forth and letting my head rock slowly, but I wasn't allowed to lean forward to ease the pressure off my back. Needless to say, when I was offered the epidural, I very reluctantly decided I had reached my limit and agreed to it. I felt defeated as this was NEVER in my plans, but I feel like things would have gone very differently if I hadn't given in.

At 4pm, I was checked again and was still 4cm and only 80% effaced. The doctor suggested that because he was "sunny side up" and probably pretty big, I would need a c section if I did not progress to 8 cm by 8pm. This was discouraging to be given so little time when I had had so little progression all day so far. Of all the reasons for the decisions we made for our birth, avoiding a c-section was the biggest one. I was really overwhelmed that this could be a possibility for me.  My nurse asked how I felt about it and I explained I was trying to come to terms with it, and she said "Oh I'm so glad...it's so great that you're so flexible".

Nick and Mom started texting friends and family and updating facebook, pleading for your prayers. Very shortly, a complete peace covered me completely and I felt a peace that whatever the outcome, we would figure it out and be just fine. Nick and I accepted the fact that I would have to have the surgery more likely than not. At 7:30, there was a shift change and a new nurse visited our room. She was witty and encouraging and as our previous nurse left, she said "work your mojo!" - apparently, the nurse we had all day had a reputation for having patients that ended up with c-sections, and our new nurse had a reputation of having patients who ended up with very fast natural deliveries. We were all encouraged by her optimism.

At 8pm, the nurse checked me and we all expected to be told that we were going to have to have the section. Instead, she said, "you're about a 7-8"! We all broke down in tears of thankfulness and relief. I couldn't believe something so big had happened so fast! I decided to rest a bit in case it was still a while until he was ready to be born, but as I lay there it was only about 5 or 10 minutes before I started feeling a lot of pressure. After complaining about it a few times, Mom went and got the nurse, and everything started happening fast. The nurse exclaimed that he was right there, ready to be born, and the doctor came in and everything was set up. I asked for a mirror, and it was truly amazing to actually see my son be born - it also really helped me figure out how to push with the epidural.

Owen Judah was born at 8:57pm. He weighed 9lbs 3oz and was 20.5 inches long. He has a head full of really beautiful dark hair and is SO SO calm and relaxed. We are all loving him, and Adrian is adjusting really well. 

Thank you to those who carried us to the throne in prayer and literally kept us from a very scary situation for us. Thank you for your sweet words and kindness during our waiting time, and for loving on our little family. God is so good and I love how He uses our friends and family to show it!

Happy 10 Months Baby Boy!

I'm back on blogger. I tried wordpress for a few days and as it turns out - cuteness and simplicity are really important to me and wordpress is just not cute (for free anyways). So I'm happily back to what works for me.

I spent almost a full day this week going through Adrian's "old" baby clothes...organizing them by size and kind and whether they're all boy clothes or could be gender neutral.  Surprisingly, it has been a very emotional task! I had to call Nick weeping over a pair of jeans he wore his first week. Those were the cutest jeans and they don't even cover his entire little bottom anymore! It hasn't been that long since he could fit very easily into those tiny onesies and sleepers...I miss newborn Adrian! I'm very thankful that he's big and happy and growing, but that teenie-tiny stage of life just didn't last long enough for me.

I  miss those moments of first getting to know my son...what soothed him, what calmed him, how to hold him and kiss him. I miss him filling my chest, my arms curled tightly around his small-ness.

Now my arms uncurl reluctantly as he embraces the world with new energy.

Those sweet moments I miss are replaced by new ones I'll treasure even deeper. New kisses, new words, new sweet tugs on my pants legs as I fold laundry. Holding my bouncy baby ALWAYS trumps laundry :)
I still miss those little bitty days though, and this bigger bitty days - I will miss these too.

Above photos by Derek Shane

And now our little "Gheegars" (as he is very affectionately most often called) is 10 months old today! We have been so focused on what we want to do for his first birthday that we almost let today slip right by us. Adrian's personality seems to have "blossomed" a lot in the past few weeks. He is extremely self-aware, and is very aware of everyone around him as well. His biggest accomplishment is learning to sign the word "please". He has it down so well that he uses it for anything and everything - of course we think it's absolutely adorable. Also, this month he got his FIRST TOOTH! Better late than never, right? Hopefully other little teeth won't be far behind this one.

Of course, he is still as musical as ever. Often we sit in the living room, me cross-legged in front of him, tapping out a tune on our knees. He bobs his head and I can't stop laughing. Then I grab his hands and we hop around in a circle and I am laughing so hard I can't even finish the song, much less breathe.

His laugh is the best in the world.

As much as I thought he'd be walking by Christmas, he isn't in a hurry to do so apparently. He is still cruising and pulling up on everything, and he can stand alone for a few seconds at a time, but still no steps. Lately, I've been making him "walk" to his room for diaper changes, which he thinks is hilarious. It's probably not helping anything.

Also, at ten months, he is becoming more purposefully loving. Several times now, he will crawl over to me, grab my hand, and put it on his belly or neck and burst out laughing. He wants to be tickled! Obviously I always comply. I'm just amazed that he even thought of it. He also makes me kiss his fingers, which I find adorable. I love this sweet precious baby!

Happy 10 months, baby son. We love you more than anything.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

24 Days of Thankfulness - Day 18

Day 18

Today I'm thankful that my baby boy is 8 months old!

Can you even believe it?

This past month has been a busy one for little Adrian, as we've welcomed his first tooth (with lots of celebration), praised his going from laying down to sitting up, and of course crawling. My days have gotten busier as I can no longer lay a blanket down and watch Adrian play with a few toys for a long time - he is everywhere and into everything. It didn't take him long to master being mobile! I have become busier during his nap times, trying to catch up with the cleaning and laundry even more so now that I am less able to do it when he's awake. This week he started cruising along the furniture - we are all imagining that he'll be walking by Christmas.

With this milestone comes a new level of sweetness. Now Adrian crawls to us when we open our arms and we call his name, willingly gives sloppy kisses when we ask for them (we always cheer and clap and yell, "thaaaaaaank you for the kisses") and he loves to scream after it with us, as if he's done the greatest thing ever. He says "mama" and "dada" even more clearly - calling for me (mamamamamamamamaaaaa) when he's sad, and talking about his daddy when Nick's at work. It's just precious.  As he's getting bigger, I'm finding myself wanting to hold and snuggle him even more and he is more than willing to comply. 

Daily, Nick and I just shake our heads and wonder how God gave us the sweetest, craziest, funniest, most loving little boy in the world. We are sooo blessed - and we LOVE being parents. I love being a parent WITH Nick...it's better than I imagined to be a part of that sort of team.

I'm just shaking my head, hardly believing that it's been 8 months already since the midwife placed him in my arms on March 18th. I really just wish time would slow down a bit, because I'm loving this way too much.

Dear Adrian, You have made me realize that my heart can hold much, much more love than I thought. You are precious to us. I love laughing with you, snuggling with you, tickling you and playing with you. You have made me a mother, and that is one of the main reasons I thank God daily for His faithfulness and goodness - He gave us YOU and our life is rich! Happy 8 months, baby bear, we can't wait for the rest of every single day with you :) We love love love love you.

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Bananas and Bath Time!

Adrian turned 7 months yesterday, and I've been doing some more reading on feeding solids. Apparently, a really popular method currently is called "baby-led solids" and when I looked it up, I don't really see why it's popular. Basically, "baby-led" means that you set the food, mashed, cut up, etc. in front of baby and baby feeds him/herself until he/she decides that he/she is full. The mother is not supposed to ever help baby, and baby never eats from a spoon. Um......this method is definitely not for me. Mostly because how is Adrian supposed to learn that he is to eat whatever is set before him (even healthy food he may not like) if he gets to "choose" as an infant?

Anyways, I did let him have a banana to gum on at lunch today. I broke it into 3rds, and handed each piece to him. He LOVED it. He has great control of his hands, and he was completely gleeful to be able to feed himself. He ate about half the banana followed by a bowl of mush and later his bottle. He's such a little piglet! Of course, I was snapping pictures of his cute self.

And of course, here's a video:

After this very very messy lunch, a bath was very necessary. Adrian LOVES baths and the bathroom and I get baths too! Splashing is his favorite. He was all clean and ready for a nap after that :)

Here's a video of that too:

I love my baby boy who's growing so fast!

Adrian is 7 Months Old!

This is a hard update for me to write, because the fact that Adrian is 7 months old means that we are now closer to his 1st birthday than further away - agh, my baby is growing up! Nick and I are really blessed with this little man, and his personality is developing well. He is extremely happy, extremely outgoing, and very crazy! He loves to scream, squeal, dance, and bounce.  He is usually always happy, except (at this point) he still doesn't have teeth and the entire has been very difficult on him (and Nick and I)! We're ready for those little pearly whites to break through for sure. 

Here are the baby milestones he should be meeting:

• Enjoys banging toys together.  Yes, and he enjoys banging ON things. He loves to play drums on my legs and he loves when I tap back on his legs.
• Your baby may now be able to support all his weight on his legs. He's been determined to stand since 4 months old, but yes.
• Sits unsupported (or with only a little bit of extra support). Yes! He's a very good sitter.
• Moves upper body to turn and reach for an object while sitting.  Yes. It's funny to watch him lunge for things. Our coffee cups and cell phones are certainly not safe around Adrian!
• Can recognize different tones in your voice. Yes, and he's starting to understand the word "no", although I don't think he knows completely what it means yet!
• Continues to experiment with vocalizing. Oh my yes. Adrian is very loud.
• Can anticipate surprises such as a jack-in-a-box. Yes! He loves peek-a-boo and starts laughing hysterically even if we only raise our hands as if we're going to tickle him.
• Memory has improved and your baby can now enjoy playing hiding game. Yes 
• Your baby is now developing a sense of humor and really enjoys funny facial expressions and sounds. Yes he is so funny. We are always laughing at his facial expressions. Our favorite is when he tilts his head all the way to the side when he wants something.
• Will show a distinct preference towards certain people. Not really, he loves Nick and I, but he doesn't mind other people holding him.
• Enjoys giving people who are close to them kisses and cuddles. Yes - his kisses and hugs are adorable and melts our hearts every time.
• Sees clearly. I have no reason to think that he can't!
• Can easily locate the source of a sound. Yes

I did a fall/7 month old photoshoot with him the other day and here are a few (well maybe a lot) of my favorites:

We are blessed to have this little one as our own!

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.
~ John 1:16 from NIV

Ugh Lately

Do you ever have those times when someone says something hurtful to you and you just think, "insert equally hurtful-but-even-more-damaging thought here"? As in, "I'll show YOU". Ugh. I hate that. If you don't ever think or say things like this, then you're one perfect person and I'd give anything to be you.  One thing I've realized since having a baby is that everything you do is wrong.

Seriously, I'm not even kidding.

Mothers feed their babies wrong. Mothers dress their babies wrong. Mothers dress themselves wrong. Mothers do ______not enough or ______ too much. It's hard being a mother! I like this quote, "Simply having children does not make mothers" which is so true. Every decision I make, every word I say, almost everything I do affects my child in some way.

I have too much to learn.

Of course, I'm talking about how everyone has advice on how you should do or should not do something a certain way.  Usually, my gut instinct is to respond in a way that's equally critical, but in thinking about all this it makes me even more aware of how much I need my Savior.

Oh, how thankful I am for grace.

Grace doesn't make me a perfect person, but it does help me that I would certainly be more of a careless one with out it and Him. I am so undeserving.

Our Weekend

I'm so at peace as I'm typing this, with my laptop in my lap, wrapped in a blanket - yes it's nice and breezy here in Jacksonville this morning! I'm SO looking forward to fall...I seriously have a near obsession with it I think. Fall, to me, means rest and romance and relief from the unbearable heat of summer. I'm definitely one of those types of people that doesn't like to be too hot or too cold.  I'm looking forward to taking Adrian to a pumpkin patch and to going on walks in the crisp weather.

This past Sunday marks our first day "church hunting" in Jacksonville. Surprisingly, there's not a whole lot of churches that really match what we're looking for.  We naively went to a free will baptist church in the morning...we didn't realize until we got there how different their beliefs were (the pillar of their denomination is that they believe that Christians can lose their salvation). We had to meet up with our TarLandingers for lunch to cheer us up :) It worked!
That night, we went to KBC and really enjoyed it. Everyone was very down to earth and seemed truly in love with Jesus. We're looking forward to attending a Sunday morning service sometime.  Next week we will visit either ECC or FB, and we're looking forward to that. We are praying for God's direction to lead us to the perfect church home for us.

On Monday I started researching tongue ties in babies because I was pretty sure Adrian was tongue tied. I was tongue tied when I was little, so I assumed it was genetic and probably one of the main causes of my nursing difficulties.  I made an appointment with the pediatrician and took him in this morning.

I've been kind of surprised that, while I haven't yet had any really negative experiences with the pediatrician, they generally seem to treat the mothers as if they don't know anything.  Nonetheless, Adrian is healthy and "off the charts" for a 4 month old at 19lbs, 14oz and 28 inches long - I knew he was big but it's nice to have a number! For 5 months, he is in at least the 95%.  The doctor suggested we start solids since he's so big (I was planning on waiting another month or two), so I'll give Adrian some rice cereal today and for the next few days and then we'll go to banana.  Nick and I are both excited about this milestone! I'm so happy to get to feed him healthy foods.

I'm one proud mama! I can't help being a little sad that Adrian is growing so fast, but I'm loving all these new changes! Mothering is soooo fun!

Adrian 20.5 Weeks

Oh, poor neglected blog! I need to remind myself to keep updating because Adrian is growing up so fast.  Currently, we are dealing with teething, and I can't wait until they actually cut through. I feel so bad for him and can't wait for him to have some relief.  Thank goodness for teethers and teething gel. He also loves frozen washcloths, so much so that even when he doesn't have one in his hand, he sucks on his blanket expecting relief.

Adrian has started reaching for things he wants, which is so cute. My heart melts when he reaches for me! He also reaches for his bottle or his toy, or my hot coffee mug (he hears a lot of "no, not for Adrian"!). 

He is sitting up almost completely by himself. When he is distracted, he can sit up without any problems, but when he is focusing on "sitting" he has a harder time with it.



I have started using baby sign language with him and I personally am loving it. He loves for me to sign and sing the ABCs, Itsy Bitsy Spider, and You are My Sunshine. Those songs along with the signs can stop his tears in a second.  I have started signing "milk", "Mama", "Change", "more" and "all done".  It's too early for him to start signing, but he does at least open his mouth and stick his tongue out when I sign "milk". 

Adrian has also discovered his voice, and screams delightedly all day long. It's hilarious, and very loud! At least he likes "talking" - he gets that from his daddy!

Altogether, he is more responsive and talkative. We feel like now that he's this old, we're getting to really know his personality more.  I'm looking forward to "showing him off" to our families this fall. Nick and I love being parents, and lay in bed at night after he's asleep laughing about the cute things he did during the day. It's so much fun! We are so blessed!

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Taking the plunge - Cloth Diapers

In my never-ending quest to save money, Nick and I have decided to switch to cloth diapers.  I'm a little scared! But, if I can figure out how to do it, I think I'll love it.  Nick is totally on board.

I'm (honestly) not a huge "green" person, but I'm a very very thrifty person.  I like to search for the best quality for the least price.  It's a fun game for me! As I started researching cloth diapering, I realized many moms do it more for the environmental or "cute" factor than the money - because apparently it's really easy to get addicted to all the sweet styles.  It's really overwhelming when you start researching all the options cloth diapering has to offer.

I've decided to start out with the "prefold" option...which is the cheapest option and the easiest to care for.  It's the old fashioned way.  If this method works, we could save anywhere from $1500-$3000 from now to potty-training, plus, we can re-use the same diapers for our next baby.  Mmm I like that!

I will post pictures and tips I learn as I go.  If you have any tips or thoughts to share, they are welcome!

I like my mommy-ness :)

I never really thought about "liking" the part of being a mama that leaves new kind of messes around the house.  I never thought about how folding tiny onesies would make me happy, and how cleaning up a basket of toys at the end of the day would make me feel complete.  I like having a million things to remember to pack in the diaper bag before we can leave the house, and I like having a living room full of bouncy, swingy, noise-making things.  I like being a mom.

Being a mom is not what I thought it would be.  I've already broken several "rules" I had set for myself before Adrian was born.  I use formula (I was dead-set on breastfeeding and didn't allow myself to consider that it might not work out), thus, I use bottles (I didn't have a single one in the house when Adrian was born).  I didn't want to use pacifiers, but now I own three and use them daily to put my baby to sleep.  I still don't want him to have it hanging out of his mouth all the time when he's a year old, but I don't mind using it at night and before naps.  *sigh*.  Adrian is not on a schedule, another thing I thought I'd master, although he has finally settled into a routine and so I still feel accomplished.

At the end of the day, I'm okay with all of it :)

The best part of being a parent is that it is the most rewarding and joyful thing I've ever experienced.  I'm learning to accept my hair falling out even though it's creepy (although I don't think anyone would be okay with bald spots), and the 5 billion stretch marks I've accumulated, because my baby is so worth it.  I love the cuddles and kisses and whispered prayers.  I love how proud I am of the little things.  I'm thankful that my baby makes me feel close to my Jesus because I know how much of a gift he is.  I love this.  I love my baby.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."Psalm 23

DIY Bunny Lovie

Adrian loves the lovies that he has.  He is in a phase right now where he is genuinely comforted with a blanket or one of his stuffingless lovies...so I was in a bit of a crafty mood yesterday and decided to make him one.  It was super easy!  All you need is:  an old fleece blanket (usually $1.50  - $3 at the end of the winter season..sooo much cheaper than buying fleece by the yard), quilting needle, quilting thread, scissors and a marker.

Step 1:  Fold  blanket in half and draw half a bunny against the fold:

Step 2:  Cut along the line.  Place cut out piece on top of folded blanket against the fold.  Cut again.  You will have two identical sides.

 It will look like this:

Sew the two pieces together.  I decided to keep the stitching on the outside instead of turning it inside-out because I like the look of it.  Before you sew the two sides of the head together, you may want to create a sleepy bunny face.

Once both sides have been sewn together, tie knots at the ears, neck, arms and legs.  This is for baby to chew on.

When complete, give to baby. He will be filled with joy.

If you decide to make one, let me know how it goes!