I like my mommy-ness :)

I never really thought about "liking" the part of being a mama that leaves new kind of messes around the house.  I never thought about how folding tiny onesies would make me happy, and how cleaning up a basket of toys at the end of the day would make me feel complete.  I like having a million things to remember to pack in the diaper bag before we can leave the house, and I like having a living room full of bouncy, swingy, noise-making things.  I like being a mom.

Being a mom is not what I thought it would be.  I've already broken several "rules" I had set for myself before Adrian was born.  I use formula (I was dead-set on breastfeeding and didn't allow myself to consider that it might not work out), thus, I use bottles (I didn't have a single one in the house when Adrian was born).  I didn't want to use pacifiers, but now I own three and use them daily to put my baby to sleep.  I still don't want him to have it hanging out of his mouth all the time when he's a year old, but I don't mind using it at night and before naps.  *sigh*.  Adrian is not on a schedule, another thing I thought I'd master, although he has finally settled into a routine and so I still feel accomplished.

At the end of the day, I'm okay with all of it :)

The best part of being a parent is that it is the most rewarding and joyful thing I've ever experienced.  I'm learning to accept my hair falling out even though it's creepy (although I don't think anyone would be okay with bald spots), and the 5 billion stretch marks I've accumulated, because my baby is so worth it.  I love the cuddles and kisses and whispered prayers.  I love how proud I am of the little things.  I'm thankful that my baby makes me feel close to my Jesus because I know how much of a gift he is.  I love this.  I love my baby.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."Psalm 23