One year ago today...

My life changed a year ago today.

A year ago today I found out that Nick and I were going to have a family.  Yes, I was pregnant.  Overwhelmed with joy and fear, I put down my cup of coffee and walked around as if my body was made of eggshells.  As Nick and I held each other and cried (probably with both fear and joy), we knew we had been blessed with the greatest gift, introduced by those two pink lines...but of course we had no idea :)

I have often thought that we should change the way we measure age.  Of course, that would completely rock the current acceptance of "life begins after 24 weeks gestation" belief.  But if the world believed that life begins at conception, my little Adrian Samuel would be over a year old.  Crazy thoughts.

The past 16 weeks have been the craziest, most exhausting, happiest, most love-soaked weeks of my life.  At 16 weeks, Adrian has found his fingers, found his toes, loves cuddling and hugging, smiles all the time, fills 6-9 month clothes, laughs when you play peek-a-boo with him, and adores his baths,  He can roll over, and loves to sit up (with assistance).  Of course, I am super proud of every tiny milestone...but that's my job :)

This fall we are looking forward to two baby nephews.  My sister in law is expecting sweet baby Jack in November, and my sister will soon welcome baby Levi the beginning of September.  I'm looking forward to all of the memories Adrian will make with his cousins so close to his age.  What fun!  We are a blessed family.

Thanks for reading!

"It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."Lamentations 3:26

Adrian's Birth Story

I am so thankful for the Lord’s timing and for how he orchestrated every detail of my labor and delivery of Adrian.

I was scheduled to go to Labor and Delivery Thursday night to be induced if everybody in Jacksonville wasn’t going into labor. I called at 5pm to make sure I could come in, and I was so excited when they told me to head in right away! My sister in law was staying with me and she helped me pack everything in the car and away we went to begin the most amazing night of my life!

Nick was still out of town, but made it to the hospital before they started the cervadil. This was a God thing because the cervadil ended up being worse than the pitocin-induced contractions the following day. Nick was great in providing support through the cramps that offered no relief. My nurse was extremely encouraging that night. Around 11 I was given Ambien (which is supposed to make you sleep through the contractions), but after two hours, it hadn’t touched me. I felt silly begging for relief, but the nurse finally gave me a shot of something in the hip that knocked me out for an hour. I was scared that I would be unable to handle my plan of an epidural-free labor with only an hour of sleep to go off of, but God was good!

My nurse took out the cervadil around 6 am. She told me I was the only one on the floor on which the cervadil had been effective. Yay, it was worth it! It took me from being dilated from 2cm to 4cm.

My midwife broke my water at 9am. I have read and been encouraged to not have my water manually broken, but I knew it would speed up my labor and I would much rather be in pain for a short amount of time than a long amount of time. I was given pitocin immediately and contractions began immediately.

Contractions were 1-3 minutes apart for about 2 hours. I was surprised at the intensity, but also surprised at the relief I felt between them. I was relaxed enough to doze off before being hit with the next one. I was exhausted, but learned that counting through the contraction helped. My nurse encouraged me by reminding me that the beginning and end of a contraction are like bad cramps, it’s just 40 seconds in the middle I had to get through. Breathe in through the nose, slowly let it out. 1. Breathe in through the nose, slowly let it out, 2. I’d count until it was over, and remind myself I was that much closer to seeing my baby boy.

Around 1pm, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the pain. I kept trying to justify an epidural in my mind, knowing it could possibly slow down the labor, and oh how disappointed I’d be in myself once Adrian was born. But around 1pm, I felt that I literally couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stop screaming through the contraction and I begged Nick to let me have an epidural. My nurse stayed very calm and assured me that this was not what I wanted and she knew I could totally handle it. She checked me, and told me I was 7cm dilated and 90% effaced. “7 centimeters!!!” I screamed, “there’s no WAY I can go another 3 centimeters!” I felt so exhausted I couldn’t logically explain to myself why I should wait. But, I did. Once he heard I was to 7cm, something clicked inside of Nick and he went into full-force coach mode. I couldn’t have done it without him! He let me squeeze his fingers nearly off through the last contractions that were about 30 seconds apart.

Suddenly, I felt like I could.not.hold.him.any.longer. I really felt that the child was going to fly out of me! The urge to push was overwhelming. Nick was SO excited when I panicked, screaming about how I really, really needed to push RIGHT NOW. In the back of my mind I was scared the nurse would come running in only to tell me that I was in fact NOT ready to push. But, she checked me, and said, “he’s right there honey!” And she ran for the midwife. I had gone from 7 to 10 cm in less than ten minutes. Thank you, Lord!

Several nurses rushed in to prepare my bed for pushing. The midwife was no where to be found and I thought I would have to catch him myself! Nick encouraged me every second. Finally the midwife was found and I was given the go-ahead to start pushing. This part was a little more difficult than I had imagined since I felt so ready to push. I pushed as hard as I could and was getting hardly anywhere for 30 minutes. Finally, my midwife suggested an episiotomy, or otherwise I would tear. I agreed, and Adrian was born seconds later. This was the ONLY part of my birth plan that did not go as planned, and in this situation, I’m glad it didn’t.

My son was placed flailing on my chest at 2:01 PM and I couldn’t stop crying. Nick couldn’t stop crying. I just hugged him and kissed him. I couldn’t believe his little arms and legs and perfect hands. He looked just like Nick. We both were exhausted, but more in love with each other in that moment than we’ve ever been. I’ve NEVER seen Nick so proud and excited. The nurse cleaned Adrian quickly and laid him back on my chest for skin to skin. I couldn’t believe the love I felt for him and I couldn’t believe he was finally here! It was so worth it.

My mom and sister arrived about 8 minutes later. They had tried hard to make it in time for the birth, but Adrian just couldn’t wait! Nick, Andrea, Mom, Kayla and I all got to celebrate Adrian’s arrival in peace for a full hour soon after he was born. I was able to nurse him immediately, and he was not whisked away as I had feared. I couldn’t stop thanking and praising the Lord for how He had moved in SO many ways to bring Adrian healthy with so very few complications.

My son weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 21 inches long. He has brown hair, and most likely brown eyes and the most perfect face in the world. He has been nursing well (something I was afraid wouldn’t happen) and actually sleeps well through the night. It has been precious to watch Nick embrace his role of Daddy. It is truly impossible to describe the love you have for your child from the first second. I can’t believe it.

We are sooo grateful for our "little big gift" God has blessed us with. The Lord has been so good to us and has proven Himself in ALL the details. Thank you, sweet friends and family for your constant encouragement and motivation, advice and listening ears through the journey.

I’m a Mama! Let the adventure begin!

Today is THE day!!

Today is the day! I had a great doctor's appointment this morning (my last pregnant appointment) and Adrian and I are both healthy :) I got to meet the midwife who will deliver him tomorrow. 

She walked into my room, taking charge right away, asking me before she sat down what my "game plan" was.  She gave me a few tips of how to handle the nurses, and let me know that she was much more "aggressive" than most midwives; "I'm not one to just let you labor on and on all day, unless you want that," she told me.  "I'm much more 'let's get this baby out".  She proceeded to let me know that her plan would be to make sure I was moving at all times...whether on the ball, flipping back and forth in bed, in the rocking chair, or standing next to the bed.  This is GOOD NEWS! I thought I would have to "fight" to be able to not stay trapped in bed...but it looks like my midwife will be fighting for me.  I like her.

For those of you who have prayed with me to have Adrian delivered by a good midwife who I feel comfortable with, God has heard and answered!  I go in to begin the induction tonight, and Adrian will be here tomorrow , Lord willing, and I'll update when I can.

41 Week Doctor's Appointment

Today was another great appointment!  I went in for the non-stress-test, which I've never done before, but knew it wasn't a big deal.  I had an ultrasound first, where the tech measured the fluid around Adrian.  Everything was fine there!  Then, I was hooked to the monitor for 20 minutes to make sure Adrian's heart rate went up when he moved.  He fell asleep for a little bit, so we didn't get too much movement, but the big movements he did make were enough to prove that he is perfectly healthy.  So...no stress.

I had the same midwife I had on Thursday, and of course she was great.  She checked me and said that Adrian has dropped significantly lower than Thursday, and my body has progressed enough where I will have no problem being induced on Friday!  This is really good news as all of us are a little done with the waiting game :)

The plan is that I will have another no-stress-test on Thursday morning, and then I will call Labor and Delivery at 5pm Thursday night, when they will tell me when to come in depending on how many women have gone/are going into labor naturally that night.  Once I go in, I will receive medicine to prepare my body for labor.  I should be able to sleep some, although I hope to be able to rest a lot during the day on Thursday.  The doctor should give me pitocin around 6-7am on Friday, and if everything goes okay, Adrian should be here between 4 and 5 pm Friday afternoon!!!

The midwife I talked to today had also had a pitocin-induced labor with no epidural, and she was very encouraging since she knows I am terrified of ending up with a C-section.  She said that Nick will be awesome (I know he will be) in coaching me through the pain and reminding me to relax and breathe.  What an answered prayer that Nick will be there for sure from point A to point B - he's my rock and the sweetest, most encouraging man in the world.  I feel so blessed!

Please pray for us as we prepare, for the doctors, and for my nerves as I'm preparing for the pain.  What a precious prize we will have at the end!  I can't believe my baby will really be here this weekend.  I am SO SO happy!!!

40 Week Doctor's Appointment

I went in for my 40 week doctor's appointment today.  My good friend, Dana, came with me so I wouldn't have to go alone.  I was anxious all last night because I knew I wanted to ask about being induced since I'm now over-due. 

I met with a midwife today that we've never seen before for some reason.  She was great!  I felt very comfortable with her and she was obviously trying very hard to hear me out and do what's best for the baby.  She told me she would induce me if my body was ready, and she would be on-call to deliver Adrian if that was the case.  She checked my progression, and stripped my membranes (OUCH), and told me that while Adrian is fully engaged in the pelvis, I've not progressed enough to warrant an induction that would most certainly end in a c-section.  I feel very encouraged though because I do NOT want a c-section, and am really glad that she was able to tell me that I'm going to be pregnant a little while longer, but my baby and I are safe.

She scheduled me for a non-stress-test next Tuesday to monitor Adrian and make sure he's doing okay being late, and then I am on the schedule for an induction next Friday, the 18th.  SO, at least I know now that I will have my baby here before the end of next week!  And, if I do stay pregnant until the induction, Nick will be there the whole weekend (thank you, Lord!). 

Right now I'm very very sore from this morning, but sooo glad this week went so much better than last week.  My wonderful sister in law will be in town starting tomorrow so we will have a good time and if baby comes, she'll be able to welcome him home with us.  Thank you everyone who's been praying for us! Those prayers have meant so much :)

Well, today is my due date!!! How long have I thought this day would never come.  Surprisingly, I feel at peace.  Everything I've wanted to get done is done, and I'm thankful for all the sweet little things the Lord has done for us lately.  This pregnancy has been pretty easy overall...the worst parts have been my gallbladder issues mid-way through the pregnancy, and my pulled muscle at the end of last year.  This last month has been really tough physically, but I know I am no exception from any pregnant woman on the planet! Although, I do have to say that those of us who carry our little ones low from day 1 probably do have it tougher.  Mostly though, right now I feel such excitement! My little baby is going to be in my arms SO soon.  Maybe even by the end of this week! I keep dreaming about him and thinking of how much life is going to change.  Oh, but what a welcome change it is!

Nick is in Winston-Salem this week for the first of four weeks of training for his new job.  This was a little change of plans neither of us expected, but we are so thankful for this job we're doing the best we can to work through this "timing".  Nick found out that his bosses who are in charge of the meeting have no problem letting him leave if I were to go into labor during the week (thank you, Lord).  I have wonderful friends who are on standby, willing to drive me to the hospital and take care of me until Nick arrives.  Really, just these two little things I can count on make me feel so encouraged!  I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and I'm hoping that if they begin talking induction (apparently this hospital here won't allow a pregnant woman to go past 41 weeks) that they will be merciful and do it on Friday as opposed to the middle of the week next week.  Then Nick can be here and will be able to take us home before heading back to training again on Monday.  So if you're reading this, pray everything works out (obviously, in case Adrian doesn't come on his own on Friday).

I also have a tentative plan for the rest of the month.  My wonderful sister-in-law is planning on spending her Spring Break here with me next week, and I think she comes in on Friday.  If Adrian is here, I know the three of us will have a great time!  The next week, Adrian and I will travel to Winston-Salem to spend the week with Nick, and then the last week of his training, my mom will come pick Adrian and I up to spend a week in GA.  This is a fun thing I didn't expect!  I'm glad my siblings will get to see him before he gets too "old".  So, again, I feel at peace knowing a little more what's going to happen in the next little bit.  We won't be able to establish a routine until the beginning of April, I guess, but that's okay!

Immediately, my current plan is to sit on the couch and not move so Adrian stays in until Friday.  My mom has a friend who promises that oil and balsalmic vinegar on salad induced all her labors, so I believe I will have a giant, greasy salad Thursday night :) 

The journey of motherhood is about to begin...I can't wait!

~Abi

39 Week Doctor's Appointment

We had our 39 week Doctor's appointment today.  We weren't sure we'd make it to this week, but we did!  Everything went well as far as my being on track health-wise, and Adrian's heart beat was strong and healthy as well.  The midwife estimates him to be between 7lbs 4oz and 7lbs 8oz. 

I have made up a birth plan and gave a copy to the doctor today to be put in my file.  We also have copies to bring to the hospital.  It's pretty standard - the main things I'm concerned about are being able to have a med-free birth, making sure everything possible is done to ensure that we don't end up with a C-section.  We see a different midwife every week, and the one we were talking to today is not one of our favorites.  She tends to be pretty negative, and I generally just don't feel completely at ease talking to her.  I don't have to see her very often so it's not a problem, but today was discouraging because she gave me a lot of grief about a part of my birth plan.

Nick and I have chosen not to vaccinate Adrian.  Our birth plan states that we plan to defer the Hepatitis B vaccine given at birth.  In short, we believe there is a link between vaccinations and autism/other neurological disorders.  I don't believe this is the case with every child, but I think genetics plays a huge part in it if a person is genetically pre-disposed.  I don't try to push my opinion on anyone else because I feel we've made a very educated decision about this, and I trust that other moms have done the same thing, whether or not they chose to vaccinate.  I have talked with moms with opinions on both sides of the table and have found reasons to agree with both. However for us, I feel this is the best decision for our child.

Anyways, the midwife asked me to explain my reasons, and when I did she told me about how the one study linking vaccinations to autism had been discredited, the doctor in charge of the study had lost his practice, and all the parents/children involved in the study had been found to be liars.  I know all about the study, and I know it was discredited, however....I think just because that one study was proven invalid, it doesn't mean that what they were trying to prove is an invalid thing.  She then told me that no pediatrician in Jacksonville would take us as a patient and I would have to go out of state to get care for Adrian.  She told me how babies have died of measles, etc.  Basically, she tried very hard to make us feel like ignorant, uneducated new parents.

I very politely explained that this is something I've researched and studied, and while I wasn't trying to be unsafe, I felt we were making the best decision for our child.  It was hard for me because, while I've been warned that I might be treated this way, it was still hard for me to actually go through it. *Sigh*.  

Then she examined me and told me that I was hardly dilated at all and Adrian was still floating, although I was thinned out.  This is frustrating because I know Adrian is fully engaged (he was in the 0 pelvic station last week, and I've been walking a ton since last week.  I was also dilated between a 1 and 2 cm last week. I told her this, and she said she basically couldn't reach far enough to tell how much I've truly progressed.  Oh thanks.  

So I'm trying not to be discouraged.  I know most of how today's visit went was because of the midwife we were working with.  We are praying hard and trusting in the Lord's perfect timing to bring Adrian before Nick leaves on Sunday for his training - but if He doesn't, I know I'll be well taken care of and God will be glorified!  Nothing like today can make me less-excited to have my sweet baby boy here.  I know it will be sooo soon!

***Note: I feel like I need to add this - anyone who knows me knows that one of my joys in life is being with autistic children.  I love working with special-needs kids in general, but autism certainly has a permanent place in my heart now.  If God were to allow Adrian to have autism reguardless of our decision about vaccinations, I would trust His plan and love my son reguardless.  To me, vaccinations is a decision of safety, and personally I do believe they can be dangerous especially when given at an early age.  I just don't want anyone to think that our decision in this matter is based on a fear of special needs - because it is not!

38 Week Doctor's Appointment

We had our 38 week doctor's appointment today.  It went good, mostly because I've "come back to earth" now that it's two weeks since I thought Adrian was coming :)  Also, my favorite midwife was on call today and I always feel more comfortable when she is the one we're working with (I see a different midwife every appointment). 

As far as progress, I'm still about in the same place as I was last week, although Adrian's head is now completely in my pelvis - which is a good sign.  Since I'm still having Braxton Hicks contractions, I know he could still come any time but there's not really been any "sure" sign of labor.

If all of you who read this would pray:

If you read my last post, you saw that God has answered our prayers above and beyond what we could ask for!!! Nick's new job is wonderful and we're so grateful.  However, he will have to go away for 2 weeks, right at my due date.  PLEASE PRAY that Adrian comes this weekend so Nick can have some time with us before he has to go away.  The midwife I mentioned above is on call on Friday and Sunday, and Nick and I have been praying for weeks that she would be there to deliver Adrian.  We believe in the power of prayer! Obviously, this is not life or death :) but it would be pretty great. 

THANK YOU!

On a more serious note - A friend I have known my entire life recently found out he has cancer.  He received some good news this week that the cancer is not as far along as his doctors first thought, but he will have to go through chemo.  Our God works in ways we can't understand, but He is always good! Please pray for complete and quick healing for Cosbie Hollenbeck, and pray for his family and sweet fiance, Caitlin. 

My First Trip to Labor and Delivery

Well, Nick and I took our first little trip to Labor and Delivery at Onslow Memorial last night.  When I was getting ready for church, I started to get tunnel vision, although I didn't feel weird anywhere else at the time.  There was a small blurry spot in the center of my vision that eventually got worse to where I couldn't see anything clearly.  Nick called the on-call midwife when I started feeling dizzy and she said we should go to the ER right away.

By the time I got there, I had an intense headache, my ears were ringing, my hands and mouth were numb and I still couldn't see.  We were sent straight to L&D and I was put to bed with monitors strapped to me in several places.  Soon, I started feeling better, and the nursing staff did several tests while I layed there to be monitored for several hours. 

Nick was giddy with the thought that we might actually have Adrian.  He was so sweet running around the room commenting on all the little baby items prepared for newborns.  He talked to Adrian a lot and was so excited when Adrian's heart rate went up every time he heard his daddy's voice.  He read to him and talked to him the whole time we were there, and the nurse said that Adrian was the healthiest baby on the floor based on his heart rate and movement :) Nick and I were so proud!

After my blood tests came back all completely normal and stable, the nurse suggested that my heart rate had probably dropped significantly and quickly and my body reacted in a strange way.  Being this far along, pregnancy can do strange things to a woman's body so it's hard to pin-point the reasons things happen.  She said she was glad we came in, because my symptoms were of something very serious, although thankfully in my case, I was fine.  ALL the nurses who saw me were extremely nice.  They took their time explaining everything to us and making us relaxed and comfortable.  I'm very thankful that we got to see the L&D unit and see what the staff was like before I actually go into labor, even though it wasn't the best of circumstances.  I know we'll be well taken care of.

37 Week Doctor Appointment

I've been pregnant for 248 days.  That's 5,952 hours, 357,120 minutes, and 21,427,200 seconds. 

It's been a long time.

I'm really anxious to have Adrian here! We went to the doctor this morning and my sweet baby's heartbeat was healthy and strong.  I have progressed about twice as much as last week, but that doesn't really mean I can count on seeing my baby soon.  I had got myself all excited that he might be coming this week and now I'm struggling with the disapointment of him not being here yet!  I need to get it in my head again that it could be a few weeks.

I have another doctor's appointment next week so I'm hoping for more progression, if not a delivery before then!  God knows sweet Adrian's birthday, and I'm glad he's doing okay.

On a random note.  Here's another quote that inspired me and I thought you'd like:

Have a good day, blog friends!

This Wednesday Morning

So, I had this idea in my head that I would be blissfully pain-free until the moment of my first contraction.

NOT TRUE!

Come on, Adrian, we're ready to meet you!

Here's the evolution of "the bump" over the last 9 months (8 weeks to 35 weeks - I'm now 37 weeks).  I'm ready for the de-evolution :)

This Waiting Game We Play

For those of you who don't know, this weekend has been quite a little adventure.  It seems that my little boy is making preparations to come a little early.  No, I'm not in labor as I'm writing this, but we have had a few "scares" that has given us the wake up call we've probably needed!

Almost this entire pregnancy, especially lately, almost everyone has been telling me that first born babies arrive late.  Now, I know this isn't completely true as I am the first born and was a week early, but I realize it happens a lot.  In fact, two of my friends who were due end of January ended up both being at least a week late (but I'm now so happy that baby boy Kaievan and baby girl Dylan are happy and healthy and here as of a few days ago!!!).  So, I kind of had it in my head that Adrian would be late as well.  I am certainly ready for him to be, and hope to get to meet him this week!

In our panic, Nick and I got almost ALL the household chores done we've been putting off.  I cleaned the bathroom, pantry, kitchen (even the lamp shades), dusted everything, organized the nursery and our bedroom where Adrian will be for at least a month and a half, and packed for the hospital.  I am almost giddy that his diaper bag is packed with handsome little outfits for him!  All will be securely in the newly cleaned and vacuumed car in the next couple days.  Whew.  Here's some pics of Adrian's bassinet (thank you, Erica!), his possible coming home outfit (thank you, Gramsie!), the thank-you basket for the L&D nurses, and my packed suitcase. 

One fun, wonderful thing that happened this weekend is the baby shower from my wonderful friends at Tar Landing Baptist Church!  Michele, Dana, and Julianna put sooo much time, money and effort into making me feel blessed and I certainly did!  The shower was Safari-themed, and it was perfectly coordinated from the cake to the decorations.  I felt truly overwhelmed and I KNOW I am so blessed to have such great friends as these!  Many women from the church came and blessed us with diapers, wipes, books, clothes and other things for Adrian.  We are well-taken care of and lacking nothing!  Nick and I feel so grateful to attend a church that is SO generous and SO giving - this is something we are passionate about, and while we've been placed humbly in the receiving end of it these past few months, we are excited about being a part of a church that gives! If any of you from church are reading this...THANK YOU!

I'm hoping to have lots more things to write in the next week or two.  The Lord has truly been the "lifter of our heads" this week in many ways and I can't wait to be able to brag about Him and what He's done soon! He is faithful!

Happy 36 Week Appointment!

We had our 36 week appointment today. I was afraid that our doctor's office would be closed due to the "snow storm" we were supposed to receive last night.  Thankfully, it wasn't.

I had a lot of braxton hicks contractions yesterday, starting when I first got up in the morning then fading out until they were pretty consistent and painful for several hours in the evening.  I knew it wasn't the "real thing" which was a good thing because I don't want Adrian to be born 3 1/2 weeks early, but also a bad thing because the contractions really hurt and I know I'll have to deal with them again soon! Nick did a great job coaching me through them so I know we'll be an excellent team when the time comes...especially with our goal of a med-free delivery.

We had an ultrasound today. I don't have any good pictures because Adrian is so big and his head has dropped almost completely into my pelvic area.  All we could see were body parts, but everything looks great and he is healthy.  I'm measuring 4 days ahead of schedule (yay).  Adrian is estimated to be 6 pounds, 13 ounces (I knew he was at least 6lbs!), and the tech said he is going to be a very tall boy.  I am happy that he is healthy, growing, and in the right position!  I can't wait to meet him soon!

I had the Strep B test done, and I'll be anxious to hear the results of that.  I really want to labor at home for as long as possible, so I'll be disappointed if I have to sit in a hospital bed with IVs of antibiotics in my arm during labor as opposed to moving freely around my home.  The midwife also says I'm 2 cm dilated and Adrian is at the -1 station.  So those contractions I had last night weren't all for nothing!

I'll now be going to the Dr. once a week until Adrian's birthday, so that will be good.  We're down the the last little bit!  We're looking forward to having our baby home with us!

8 Months Down, 1 To Go!

As of today, I am exactly one month away from meeting my sweet baby boy.  I can't really explain how I feel at this point - I just can't believe I'm here!  I know these next few weeks will fly by.  My biggest excitement right now is: holding him in my arms in a matter of days.  My biggest fear is:  Him arriving late (I'm planning on having a natural childbirth, and a late baby means a bigger baby - thus, the fear).  I know God knows exactly how this is going to happen, and I do trust His plan!

My plans for today are to finish cleaning our bedroom and setting up the baby things I want in there.  We're hoping to move to a different, better place as soon as Nick gets a job (which will be hopefully soon), so I've been packing a little bit so I won't have all of it to do when I have a newborn in the house.  Because of this, I don't plan on having a beautiful, decorated nursery by the time he arrives, although it will be neat and organized.  Right now, I'm setting up the bassinet next to the bed, stocking drawers with diapers, wipes and other necessities, and getting our hospital bags packed!  I'm soooo excited. 

It's fun preparing all of this and imagining my little one here.  What an adventure.  I know a newborn is going to change our lives, but I honestly can't think of a single thing in my current way of life that I will miss "losing" upon having a child - except maybe sleep.  But I haven't slept in 3 months anyways so I should be used to it by now!  This is a welcome, wonderful change.  I can't wait to meet you, sweet baby Adrian!

In conclusion, here's a picture of my little feline shadow, Ava.  She makes these days when Nick's not here less lonely.

For as long as I can remember, I have always been interested in couple's "how we met" stories.  For years, I imagined what mine would be.  Now I have one, and I have time to sit down and share it with you!

I had the privilege of attending Liberty University straight out of high school.  I was ready to grip life by the horns, and relished my new-found "freedom".  I enjoyed the new friends I met, including the boyfriend I snagged day one of college.  I didn't consider a lot of how such a quick relationship would effect me, and the Lord taught me a lot during that year that we dated.  Although I had considered some things about dating, I certainly didn't have a "game plan" of how I would go about it once I actually got to where I was making my own decisions for myself when I was on my own.

Thankfully, God has ways of using our mistakes to our good and His glory. 

I landed my first "real" job summer of 2007 working as a waitress at Cracker Barrel in GA.  I actually really loved it.  I loved the challenge of the people I both worked with and served, and I liked the feeling at the end of the shift that I had done a good job.  I also had to learn to handle life as a Christian in a very non-Christian work environment...including adjusting to how guys treat women in the "world" respect-wise as opposed to the church as I was used to.  As soon as I went back to LU to begin my Sophomore year, I went to Cracker Barrel there in Lynchburg to try to transfer.  As optimistic as management was there of hiring someone they didn't have to train, it took a good two weeks until I could put a starting date in my planner: September 1st, 2007.

August 27th, my boyfriend and I ended our relationship.  I was very much not interested in pursuing another relationship, and planned on being single for quite a while.  Boys were better as friends, anyways. The work the Lord had done in my heart over the summer was undeniable, and I felt I had better things to focus on while at school.  That Friday, I rode my bike to work and my manager eagerly introduced me to my co-workers.  I gulped as I walked through the vestibule to the back and received the "look-over" head to toe from the first two male co-workers I passed. (I only share this because it was some-what important to what happened next).

Nick was standing next to the door as I came from the vestibule into the kitchen.  I was immediately shocked at how much he looked like Nick Lachey.  My manager introduced us, and during our brief exchange, Nick held my gaze...never leaving my face.  I felt respected.  I was surprised at how that moment was my "big event" of the night, however I guess it wasn't that surprising that I developed an immediate crush on him.  So much for my big dating plan.  Nick didn't pay any attention at all to me...or anyone, really...the rest of the shift.  It was obvious he was very popular with the mostly female staff, but he seemed oblivious to that too.  Wow, this guy was sooo different!

I didn't try at all to flirt with Nick, only speaking to him when necessary.  One night, it rained extremely hard right as I had to go to work.  I didn't much mind, but of course I had to ride my bike in the rain as I had no other ride to work.  I remember thinking it was fun to ride down the hill and across the highway with the rain and wind blowing in my face.  I must have looked like a drenched, sad puppy when I got to work because almost everyone looked at me with shocked faces, rushing me to the heat lamp to dry off.  I was most surprised by Nick's reaction, as he stood wide-eyed repeating over and over how he had thought about me riding my bike in the rain, and how he almost came to look for me but didn't know where I lived, and how I would never ever have to ride my bike to work again if he had anything to do with it.  I haven't had to ride my bike anywhere since then :)

After work, Nick packed my bike into the back of his Vibe with ease.  He talked the whole way back to campus.  Really, I didn't say a word, and I honestly don't even know what he talked about.  As I got out of the car, he handed me his business card and said if I ever needed anything I could call him.  May I remind you that I already had a crush on him and wasn't about to call a guy first!

The next week, Nick took me home after every shift.  On Friday night, we both got off early, around 9PM.  We made small talk as he unloaded my bike, and then continued talking as I sat on the bike seat in the parking lot.  Eventually, we realized we had no where to go, and Nick threw open the hatch-back of his car and we sat on the bumper, my bike leaning against the side of the car.  I remember feeling elated that he was actually talking to me.  We talked about everything...family, friends, beliefs, school, work, etc.  My roommate walked past us at one point and winked, knowing how excited I must be.  It seemed like 15 minutes later when she came back, waving her hands and looking at me, shocked.  She informed me that I had missed curfew and she couldn't believe I'd been out here this long.  Apparently, we had been talking for 4 hours and it felt like no time at all.  After Nick and I said our goodbyes, I went in and told my roommate that I had met my future husband.  I was just that sure!  This was September 8th, 2007.

We went on our first date the next week, to Olive Garden.  I don't remember too much about that night except we finished our meal with raspberry cheesecake.  Somewhere around that time we set strict rules for ourselves, that we would not be alone together and our physical intimacy would not go past hand-holding.  Period.  We did hold hands that night on the bench by the parking lot, a moment highlighted by obnoxious guys riding around singing "can you feel the love tonight" every time they drove past us and taunting Nick to "just kiss her, dude".  Precious.  He did not, of course.

This began our beautiful relationship.  Our dating experience was so fun, and only better by our commitment to keep the physical out of our relationship.  The best part? Nick was the leader in this - never once did he pressure me or even mention going further than holding hands.  Of course, it was hard at first, but eventually our "not" doing anything became habit. 

Nick proposed to me in the most precious way on September 8th, 2008, our one-year anniversary.  We had the absolutely most perfect wedding on July 3rd, 2009.  Now we're heading towards the end of our 2nd year of marriage and I'm more in love with him than I was on day one.  God has been so good to us and I'm so thankful that He answered all of my prayers when He brought me Nick.

I love you, babe!

Oldies but goodies from our first month of dating.

Sick Friday

Ok so tonight I'm coming down with a cold. Again.  I think this means I've been sick for about a month and a half.  I am not a fan!  Hopefully the weather will get warmer and Nick and I can both start feeling better.

Nick has been at work most of the day and I've spent most of the day helping my mom make her blog all snazzy.  It's quite snazzy now.  Now, Adrian and I are having a little bonding time.  I don't know too much about my little baby son yet, but I do know that he's getting big and he likes music.  I know that I can get instant spastic action from him as soon as I turn on Pandora and place my computer on my belly.  Trust me, he rocks out. He loves Michael Buble or any other bouncy type songs.  He will be so funny to dance with when he's here! 

All I can think when I see my belly twisting and shaking is that I want that kind of excitement at something so small! Just wait, little one, wait till you see this world! Is that how God feels about His children? I think so.  I'm sure He looks down and at us in all our silly fascination with this world and says just that, "Just wait, little one, wait till you see what I have waiting for you!"

Another thing I keep thinking while Adrian brings my ribs to their very breaking point with his excitement, is that this child does not belong in there!!!  I know it's a crazy thought, but for months I've been quite satisfied, even selfish, with having his little self all close to me.  I have said several times that I would be sooo sad when he was finally born and I would have to "share" him.  But now, as he kicks and punches against my side I am reminded that this child was meant to come out.  God has a purpose for him, and His plan for my little baby will be oh so visible oh so soon. 

In conclusion, I want to share the cute little lambykins I bought for my sweet baby. I'm going to put him in the bassinet to welcome Adrian when he comes home from the hospital!  I got him from amazon.com.  For some reason it was somewhat important for me to find the perfect stuffed animal since they have been so important to me my whole life.  I admittedly, still love them.

Isn't he cute?

Well now I will surrender to the couch and the tissues.  Have a great night!

35 week Doctor's Appointment

Welcome February!  I'm 35 weeks along now! Only 35 days until my due date on March 8th.  I can also officially say that I'm having my baby NEXT MONTH!  I am now officially in "let's just get this baby out" mode.  No one was kidding when they told me that the third trimester is super uncomfortable, only amplified with the onset of stretch marks that I've managed to avoid until this week.  Boo.

Adrian is sparing no amount of cuteness in getting us excited, either.  He's always moving, and seems to be extremely responsive to outside stimuli.  He squirms enough that friends in church are distracted by his bounciness.    Nick and I are falling more and more in love with him daily.

My doctor's appointment went well today.  My iron is normal as well as everything else as far as "me" is concerned.  My midwife checked Adrian's heartbeat (in the 140's and healthy - yay!). She also felt him and confirmed that he is, in fact, head down - as we suspected.  Next week I will have the Strep B test, and an ultrasound for measurements and weight.  It will be fun to see him one last time before he's born!

Random note of the day: I discovered giant sticky notes at Target yesterday! I spent time last night writing out all my lists of the things I have to get done.  Afterwards, I felt exhausted, but at least I have visual reminder of the things I have to do.  I'm starting to feel the pressure of having only 5 weeks left (if he doesn't come early).  One major thing on my list I want to get done this week is try to get at least partially packed for the hospital.  I sense I will be one of the most over-prepared new moms there.  Oh well.

I'm also putting together a "thanks" goodie basket for the nurses helping me deliver.  If you're a nurse and you're reading this, do you have any suggestions of what to put in it?

That's all for now! I hope all is well in your world this week :)

Morning Play Time

Today I am 34 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  I have only 40 days to go until my due date on March 8th.  Adrian seems to have flipped head down and is generally comfortable with his bottom pushed up against my ribs.  It's funny how I used to catch my breath every time I felt him move, and now I can touch him directly and he responds to my touch.

Recently, we've discovered a way to "play" with him.  I'm laying on the couch, and Nick is laying next to me, head on my belly, both hands on top of Adrian's bulging form.  Right now, Nick is warning Adrian of the ups and downs of life, often stopping mid-sentence to kiss Adrian, "I love you son, I miss you already son, I can't wait to see you..." (these moments make me cry). Adrian is a very obvious pointy bulge under his daddy's chin...he doesn't move while he's talking.  I think he can already recognize Nick's voice.

We found a wind-up music box that plays the familiar typical lullaby.  We've wound it up and place it on top of where Adrian is.  He kicks strongly.  We both laugh at my shaking belly and move the music box.  Adrian follows it and my stomach bulges out under the music box's new location.  Pre-born hide-and-seek.  How fun.

Seriously, how can anyone say that life begins at birth?




**Random Note - I had another pregnancy moment yesterday.  I was leaving my house and got distracted by the neighbors across the street who had apparently called the police (oh yes, the joys of living where we do).  My keys are usually hanging on a hook next to the door, but instead of grabbing them, I left them on the hook, and waltzed into the rain, leaving my keys on their lonely hook.  Way to go me.  So, I found myself locked out of the house, standing on the porch in the rain, surrounded by my scary neighbors (who thankfully were all in their houses).
It all worked out though because I apparently had another pregnancy moment by leaving my car unlocked (something I never do, which you should know by the amount of times I've left my keys in my locked car - something that wouldn't happen if I wasn't OCD about locking it). So, I sat in my car for an hour and a half until Nick came and rescued me. 


The end.

Being pregnant, carrying a child, and eventually becoming a mom has always been one of those "eventually, in the future" type of things.  I am feeling a lot of the same things I did before my wedding day...lots of love, excitement, fear, expectations, and the realization that the "before" period of this huge time in my life is about to be in the past forever.

That's how I feel right now.  For 22 years, I've been just me.  Abi.  I've had labels like anybody else (daughter, student, Christian, wife, etc.) and now I'm about to add a new one.  For nearly 9 months, I've studied about pregnancy and babies, loved on other's babies, felt Adrian grow inside me, and become closer and closer to the "big" day: Adrian's birthday.  I feel like I'm on stage, waiting in the wings, and very, very soon...it's GO time!! No turning back or pushing the "pause" button.  We'll be parents.

And now as I'm counting down the days until Adrian should be here, feeling more and more that I can't wait to not be pregnant and actually have him here in my arms, I want to write about my very favorite things about being pregnant (specifically with Adrian, obviously).

1.  The very first moment of finding out I was expecting a baby for the very first time.  I felt an instant overwhelming sense of responsibility that was astounding, and was immediately aware that my body was not only "just me" anymore.  As I touched my stomach, I felt completely in awe and couldn't help but think, God is making a precious baby for me to be a mother to.  This is the most amazing gift!

2.  The first time I saw Adrian on the ultrasound.  I was of course super careful in those first few weeks, thinking that any sudden movement or anything would hurt my baby.  However, it didn't cross my mind until the night before our ultrasound appointment that something could really be wrong with my 13 week old child.  I broke down as Nick and I prayed for peace for me and safety for our baby.  The next day, when I saw Adrian flipping and spinning in every direction, his spine twisting and arms and legs waving, I couldn't help but burst into tears of joy.  Again, I was reminded that I was receiving the greatest gift.

3.  Feeling Adrian move the first time.  I had felt tiny flutters that I couldn't positively chalk up to movements, but one Monday afternoon at 15 weeks, I felt positive movements that I knew were Adrian. I felt what I thought were little hands and feet, tapping on my belly right under my belly button.  All I could do was touch my belly and smile.

4.  Finding out we were having "Adrian".  Nick and I didn't care if we had a girl or a boy, but I personally had always thought that having a son first would be nice.  It was an unimportant prayer that I would not have been disappointed if God did not answer.  In the ultrasound room, Nick and I kept referring to the baby on the screen as "he/him/his" out of habit, and the tech asked us if there was a reason behind it.  We explained there wasn't, we just didn't like him/her or switching back and forth.  "Welp, you're right!" she said, "it's a boy"! I couldn't stop laughing and crying at the same time.  We were having a son!

5.  Communicating with Adrian.  Through the different websites and books we have read, we learned that an unborn child can hear outside noises early on in pregnancy.  As soon as we learned that, we started singing to him.  I chose "you are my sunshine" early on because it was easy and hopefully easy to remember (there are theories that an unborn baby can eventually recognize and remember a certain song if he or she is sung to often enough).  Now, as I lay on the couch, watching my belly morph into odd shapes as Adrian moves, I sing softly (and not well) and smile as he responds.  I don't know if he'll love music when he's born, but I love that it connects us now!

Thank you for letting me share with you my favorite moments...the things I'll want to remember most.  Soon, he'll be here with us and we'll make new memories and I'm so excited about that.  God has been so good to us.  The blessing of a child is wonderful to feel before he even arrives.