Love-Drenched Life

Being pregnant, carrying a child, and eventually becoming a mom has always been one of those "eventually, in the future" type of things.  I am feeling a lot of the same things I did before my wedding day...lots of love, excitement, fear, expectations, and the realization that the "before" period of this huge time in my life is about to be in the past forever.

That's how I feel right now.  For 22 years, I've been just me.  Abi.  I've had labels like anybody else (daughter, student, Christian, wife, etc.) and now I'm about to add a new one.  For nearly 9 months, I've studied about pregnancy and babies, loved on other's babies, felt Adrian grow inside me, and become closer and closer to the "big" day: Adrian's birthday.  I feel like I'm on stage, waiting in the wings, and very, very soon...it's GO time!! No turning back or pushing the "pause" button.  We'll be parents.

And now as I'm counting down the days until Adrian should be here, feeling more and more that I can't wait to not be pregnant and actually have him here in my arms, I want to write about my very favorite things about being pregnant (specifically with Adrian, obviously).

1.  The very first moment of finding out I was expecting a baby for the very first time.  I felt an instant overwhelming sense of responsibility that was astounding, and was immediately aware that my body was not only "just me" anymore.  As I touched my stomach, I felt completely in awe and couldn't help but think, God is making a precious baby for me to be a mother to.  This is the most amazing gift!

2.  The first time I saw Adrian on the ultrasound.  I was of course super careful in those first few weeks, thinking that any sudden movement or anything would hurt my baby.  However, it didn't cross my mind until the night before our ultrasound appointment that something could really be wrong with my 13 week old child.  I broke down as Nick and I prayed for peace for me and safety for our baby.  The next day, when I saw Adrian flipping and spinning in every direction, his spine twisting and arms and legs waving, I couldn't help but burst into tears of joy.  Again, I was reminded that I was receiving the greatest gift.

3.  Feeling Adrian move the first time.  I had felt tiny flutters that I couldn't positively chalk up to movements, but one Monday afternoon at 15 weeks, I felt positive movements that I knew were Adrian. I felt what I thought were little hands and feet, tapping on my belly right under my belly button.  All I could do was touch my belly and smile.

4.  Finding out we were having "Adrian".  Nick and I didn't care if we had a girl or a boy, but I personally had always thought that having a son first would be nice.  It was an unimportant prayer that I would not have been disappointed if God did not answer.  In the ultrasound room, Nick and I kept referring to the baby on the screen as "he/him/his" out of habit, and the tech asked us if there was a reason behind it.  We explained there wasn't, we just didn't like him/her or switching back and forth.  "Welp, you're right!" she said, "it's a boy"! I couldn't stop laughing and crying at the same time.  We were having a son!

5.  Communicating with Adrian.  Through the different websites and books we have read, we learned that an unborn child can hear outside noises early on in pregnancy.  As soon as we learned that, we started singing to him.  I chose "you are my sunshine" early on because it was easy and hopefully easy to remember (there are theories that an unborn baby can eventually recognize and remember a certain song if he or she is sung to often enough).  Now, as I lay on the couch, watching my belly morph into odd shapes as Adrian moves, I sing softly (and not well) and smile as he responds.  I don't know if he'll love music when he's born, but I love that it connects us now!

Thank you for letting me share with you my favorite moments...the things I'll want to remember most.  Soon, he'll be here with us and we'll make new memories and I'm so excited about that.  God has been so good to us.  The blessing of a child is wonderful to feel before he even arrives.