39 Week Doctor's Appointment

We had our 39 week Doctor's appointment today.  We weren't sure we'd make it to this week, but we did!  Everything went well as far as my being on track health-wise, and Adrian's heart beat was strong and healthy as well.  The midwife estimates him to be between 7lbs 4oz and 7lbs 8oz. 

I have made up a birth plan and gave a copy to the doctor today to be put in my file.  We also have copies to bring to the hospital.  It's pretty standard - the main things I'm concerned about are being able to have a med-free birth, making sure everything possible is done to ensure that we don't end up with a C-section.  We see a different midwife every week, and the one we were talking to today is not one of our favorites.  She tends to be pretty negative, and I generally just don't feel completely at ease talking to her.  I don't have to see her very often so it's not a problem, but today was discouraging because she gave me a lot of grief about a part of my birth plan.

Nick and I have chosen not to vaccinate Adrian.  Our birth plan states that we plan to defer the Hepatitis B vaccine given at birth.  In short, we believe there is a link between vaccinations and autism/other neurological disorders.  I don't believe this is the case with every child, but I think genetics plays a huge part in it if a person is genetically pre-disposed.  I don't try to push my opinion on anyone else because I feel we've made a very educated decision about this, and I trust that other moms have done the same thing, whether or not they chose to vaccinate.  I have talked with moms with opinions on both sides of the table and have found reasons to agree with both. However for us, I feel this is the best decision for our child.

Anyways, the midwife asked me to explain my reasons, and when I did she told me about how the one study linking vaccinations to autism had been discredited, the doctor in charge of the study had lost his practice, and all the parents/children involved in the study had been found to be liars.  I know all about the study, and I know it was discredited, however....I think just because that one study was proven invalid, it doesn't mean that what they were trying to prove is an invalid thing.  She then told me that no pediatrician in Jacksonville would take us as a patient and I would have to go out of state to get care for Adrian.  She told me how babies have died of measles, etc.  Basically, she tried very hard to make us feel like ignorant, uneducated new parents.

I very politely explained that this is something I've researched and studied, and while I wasn't trying to be unsafe, I felt we were making the best decision for our child.  It was hard for me because, while I've been warned that I might be treated this way, it was still hard for me to actually go through it. *Sigh*.  

Then she examined me and told me that I was hardly dilated at all and Adrian was still floating, although I was thinned out.  This is frustrating because I know Adrian is fully engaged (he was in the 0 pelvic station last week, and I've been walking a ton since last week.  I was also dilated between a 1 and 2 cm last week. I told her this, and she said she basically couldn't reach far enough to tell how much I've truly progressed.  Oh thanks.  

So I'm trying not to be discouraged.  I know most of how today's visit went was because of the midwife we were working with.  We are praying hard and trusting in the Lord's perfect timing to bring Adrian before Nick leaves on Sunday for his training - but if He doesn't, I know I'll be well taken care of and God will be glorified!  Nothing like today can make me less-excited to have my sweet baby boy here.  I know it will be sooo soon!

***Note: I feel like I need to add this - anyone who knows me knows that one of my joys in life is being with autistic children.  I love working with special-needs kids in general, but autism certainly has a permanent place in my heart now.  If God were to allow Adrian to have autism reguardless of our decision about vaccinations, I would trust His plan and love my son reguardless.  To me, vaccinations is a decision of safety, and personally I do believe they can be dangerous especially when given at an early age.  I just don't want anyone to think that our decision in this matter is based on a fear of special needs - because it is not!