All day today, I've had a very heavy heart. Mostly because I know this morning was historic - I remember how I felt about Columbine, I remember how I felt about 9/11, and other similar tragedies and I've never taken the time to write about it in the moment, so as my sweet baby boy is asleep in his head, and my head is filled with silent prayers and confusing thoughts, I come here to sort them out.
12 -14 people dead (according to different sites), 50-70+ wounded (according to different sites). One man, my age, in custody. (There were 13 killed and 21 wounded in the Columbine High school shooting in 1999).
I may not have the most popular viewpoint (in fact, I don't think I've ever publicly written out anything that could be labeled as controversial, but I felt I needed to at least write this on my measly blog), but my first thought was not what I've seen many of my friends sharing on facebook - the, "well, if violence wasn't so accepted in movies, this wouldn't have happened".
My first thought, as I read through the article at seven something this morning, was "oh Dear Precious Jesus, why"? For some reason, I pictured the mental image I often have of Jesus STANDING next to the throne of the father as Stephen was being stoned. No, not at all comparable, but I know our Lord watched it all last night. For some reason, this is comforting to me.
Yes. It's true that violence spurs, or breeds if you will, violence. However, I'm not about to jump on the bandwagon and say that that movie is what caused it. Of course, on the surface, it is. However, I want to remind you that the supernatural relm is as real as the natural realm - there is a war being fought on our behalf alongside the personal, natural fights humans fight within themselves to answer the question - who am I and how do I relate to God?
Oh, Father won’t You forgive them/They don’t know what they’ve been doing/Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them/Cause I feel like the one losing
Honestly, my first response to these things my Christian friends and aquaintences have said is a strong feeling of disappointment. Disappointment that ranting angrily about these things was the first thought acted on, instead of sympathy, prayers, pleading for the lives that have been lost and changed (yes, dare I even think to include the soul of James Holmes).
Why, does it seem, in matters of extreme conflicting viewpoints, more often then not, it is Christians that are the quickest to judge, with raised eyebrows, glancing down our noses, huffing our "well, if they hadn'ts"?
Why is our first action not falling on our knees in prayer for them - prayer for the strength to share the love that erases all fear, the love that has defeated Evil for eternity?
Just a thought.
"Why do we think that hates going to change their heart/We’re up in arms over wars that don’t need to be fought/Pride won’t let us lay weapons on the ground/We build our bridges up but just to burn them down/We think pain is owed apologies and then it’ll stop/Truth be told it doesn’t matter if they’re sorry or not/Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound/Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down"
-"Losing" by Tenth Avenue North
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