On Being a Stay at Home Mom

When my days were spent barefoot, drawing in the backyard dirt, making dolls out of sticks and acorns to play with in my house made of rocks and leaves, I would think, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" Carefree was I, summer breeze flowing through my jersey dress made for me, I would sweep the dirt and have conversations with myself about how I would cook my yummy berry dinner that night for my towel-wrapped dolly named Jane. Even then, I knew what I would be when that magical day came when I was grown. I wanted to be a mom.

One day, much later, less carefree and not barefoot, I saw two pink lines on one pregnancy test, and the word "pregnant", black and confirming, on another. There is no way to put into words how many thoughts can fill a person's head in that moment, or describe how meaningful that tear-stained kiss I shared with my husband that followed his weighted statement, "We're going to be parents!" was, him holding the pregnancy test and me at the same time.

There is nothing so beautiful or scary than knowing that another person is going to fill every corner of your heart.

In the same moment that a woman finds out she is pregnant, she has many decisions. Being naive and new at motherhood, I had yet to find out that every decision we made would be the wrong one in somebody's eyes from vaccinations, to feeding, to even choosing to be a stay-at-home-mom

To me, being able to stay at home is the fulfillment of many deeply hopeful prayers. 

It is not what I expected, better than I could have ever hoped for, a precious thing that I am working on "bettering".

  This is how our life is right now and the beauty of it is intoxicating. With great blessings sometimes come great sacrifices. We will find joy in the little things we have, not the least of which being one dancing, screaming, adorable little boy and his future siblings.

 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31